I was dating a guy for two months; I’m 37 and he’s 39.
The first month, I could care less if he called or not – we had fun, but I wasn’t sexually attracted to him. Of course, he was chasing me and taking me out, and he treated me great, which is what made me keep going out.
Then I started having feelings for him and we slept together. I started to feel guilty about how I had treated him that first month, and I though to myself, ‘I have to show him that I do like him.’ And of course, that’s when the problems started.
I pursued a bit, then he became a bit distant, so then I acted needy and I’m sure he felt pressured, turned off perhaps. I failed the ‘testing’ phase :/
He ended things, saying we could never quite align. I had a huge epiphany about the way I’ve behaved with men my whole life to turn them off, by overfunctioning and being to preoccupied with where things stood, I’m ready to behave differently.
As we ended things, he gave me more verbal feedback than he had in the entire relationship, saying that I was unique and kind-hearted, and that he really hopes we can be friends because he wants my creative and positive energy in his life.
I didn’t respond to his text right away, and a few hours later he texted again, saying, ‘Penny for your thoughts.’ That made me think he was still invested in some way. So I replied that I appreciated what he said and felt good about being friends – was that a mistake if what I really want is to give dating another try?
I am very clear about the fact that I will not be initiating contact with him. I want him to chase me, and I’m hoping that will inspire his feelings for me to rekindle. Do you think I’m being realistic to have any hope to start dating him again?
I am definitely starting to date others, and am not waiting around for him, but I feel like things with him would work so much better the second time around.
